Alchemic Tango

So, I recently had a pretty severe inner ear infection that caused me to break a 12 year streak and seek medical attention from the 'guys with the good drugs'. That's right, the almighty, allopathic, AMA. One ear infection and I end up spending $800 for a blinding array of tests to have them tell me the things I diagnosed for myself were, in fact, the case. Oh, and here, take some pills. Never mind that the things we "just caught in the nick of time" are things I've known about and have been treating for years. Oh, and here, take some pills. Never mind that ALL I wanted to do was get some antibiotics for my ear. Oh, and here, take some pills.

The AMA was formed to combat hucksterism and the patented medicine industry. If you're drawing a blank here, think of Sweeney Todd and the Pirelli's Miracle Elixir scene. Oh, and here, take some pills. In this case, Todd would be the humble and well-intentioned AMA, and Pirelli would be the shameless huckster portrayed in the movie. Thing is, the AMA did eventually move on to the atrocities displayed in the movie by Todd: literally cutting the throats of it's competition (in some cases) to attain dominance over american medicine. Oh, and here, take some pills.

Now, I walk out of the clinic with 6 bottles of pills, multiple punctures, referrals for two specialists, and a pear tree up my partridge. These last few days have incited more stress in me than the last 10 years of running my own business. Oh, and here, take some pills. Never mind that I found some startling similarities between my 'treatment' there and typical cult indoctrinations: 15 hour fast, separation from home, change of name, group-specific terminology, and let's not forget the drugs. Oh, and here, take some pills.

And now, having googled all the various pills they gave me, I find that one of them counteracts another, two cause symptoms that counteract each other, the one pill I feared most turns out to be the most innocuous of the bunch and the ones they put me on first are the most likely to kill me. Yaaay... Oh, and here, take some pills.