Micro Solar

I was talking with a friend about transitions of technology, and she mentioned that it seemed like anything that saved a lot of people money and environmental stress moved so much slower than cheap easy ways to make money, like vinyl to tape to cds to iPods. Somewhere a long the line, it occurred to me, The biggest problem with the solar movement is the big ticket up front with no appreciable service jump or payoff in sight. However, people have seemed to grasp the concept of the CFL bulbs (*shudder*) just fine.

Then I came up with an idea. If someone could make a small device, and a modular solar system, solarizing a house could be done in increments. For example if the refrigerator could be plugged into a box that was plugged into a wall outlet AND to a solar panel such that the power provided to the panel was converted and delivered as the preferred source to the device, then people start saving Immediately, even with a fairly small system. Modularize the panels so that one plugs into another like those little Honda generators to increase the wattage each time and people can save a little to get a new panel rather then taking out a loan to do the whole job.

But wait, there's more. We have devices designed to create shade (oddly, called "shades"). Instead of a rooftop device, what about an easily installed, fixed window awning that provides solar power? and who says they have to be square? Couldn't a solar panel be manufactured in attractive shapes and such to help blend in with decorating motifs? Imagine a victorian cut panel over your sink, that feeds a battery. The battery is plugged into a small regulator that powers your garbage disposal. Later, you put one on the roof to help power your fridge, and another one later that powers your TV. It may take years to "go off the grid" but that's years of reduced power usage. And most importantly, these smaller systems could be installed in apartments and rentals on a temporary basis and moved with the occupant. This would quadruple the customer base in a minute.

A hopefully helpful though sent out into the world.
If you use it, think well of me
- EJ "Tedward" LeCouteur

An open letter to spammers

Okay, first of all, don't let my general loathing for you get in the way of your enjoying this letter. I'm genuinely trying to help here. I think if we can turn on that little bulb above your head, everyone can benefit.

Okay, so, I want to clarify that although I include "Opt-out" mailings as spam they are by no means included in this. In my mind, opt-out mail companies, like Mac Mall/PC Mall take the email addresses they have accumulated (usually from you buying their products) and sell them to "related companies" who also want to sell you stuff that they know, for sure, you probably want. For example, buy a computer at Mac Mall, and you get software advertisements from some other company. Never mind that they WILL NOT EVER remove your address from their list, and even though they make it so that you can legally "opt out" of any list they create, they can, AT ANY TIME, create new lists to put you on.

No, The spam that I'm addressing is a step slimier than that. These are the guys who use one of several means to gather your email address (web spiders, list hijackers, viral infection, purchase from opt out companies) and try to sell you stuff you DON'T want, nor have ever inquired about, though hijacked servers. Often, these schemes are just covers for credit card frauds and such.

But here's where we get to the point. The following subject line was on a letter to me:
~~~Good day :~~~Vicodi~ _ P~ercocet~~~
Okay, we get it. you're offering Vicodin and Percocet. Notice that the two primary ingredients are changed so that humans will pattern recognize the names but computers, specifically spam filters, won't read it. Thus, you can get your spam in front of human eyes instead of automatically getting filtered.

But, (now, listen closely) anyone who has a spam filter is willing to lose the occasional real letter, making their life just that more irritating, in order to avoid getting letters JUST LIKE THIS. So, why the alteration to slip it through? Are you hoping that someone will say "Wait, Vicodin AND Percocet???? i gots to get me some of that!"

Okay, so, I get it, just one sucker clicking the wrong thing will become subject of identity theft or some other form of fraud that could be worth thousands to you. But if people are already filtering you, why the deception? Someone who has a filter is ALREADY WISE to your schemes. And any companies providing mail service will have even better spam traps. SO WHAT'S THE POINT.

Why don't you restrict yourself to fraudulent porn sites and such? I mean the only grubworm lower than someone who would defraud the public in a manner like this would have to be the person who actually tries to buy pharmaceuticals on the internet.

E-coli happens

It's a med-tech joke. Really, you don't want to know.

I light myself on fire for a living. I've looked down many gun barrels held in fear, anger, duty, and jealousy. I've been shot, stabbed, frozen, drowned, electrocuted, hit by cars, fought with horses, angry women, bullies, and dragons. I've died in the desert sun, on mountain snow, on grassy field, and on placid lake. I've stepped through deaths door so often, I have my own coffee mug there.

But never have felt so fragile and helpless as in the hands of the AMA. So, in case my feelings for them aren't clear, I've asked the ghost of Johnny Cash to help out...

On the other hand, despite my brush with the only Drug Pushers I've ever had the displeasure to meet, I feel that I leave the better for it. I have data confirmation that my self-diagnosis over the years have been 100% correct. And despite a little brush with what must have been acid reflux a couple years ago, my heart is in fine shape.

Yes, I'm a fat bastard who needs to lose weight. And I already took the first few steps towards that goal. I bough an iPod so that I had something to listen to on walks (personal best this week, I broke the 20 minute mile). And I recently bought a real refrigerator.

You see, since I moved in to Culver City over 6 years ago, I've had this tiny mini fridge as my only unit. Sounds great until you realize you can't have frozen foods, or large quantities of anything that can spoil. Basically, it sucks. But now I can keep whole heads of lettuce, healthy snacks, all fruit popsicles, etc in there and know they'll come out right. It's remarkably improved my eating habits.

Plus, I feel even more empowered to continue listening to my body (and totem) for dietary cues. So far, they've been dead on with what I need.

In short, I feel like a new man. And it only cost me $800, three needle pricks, completely toxifying myself with bad prescriptions, and a couple weeks of stress.

Alchemic Tango

So, I recently had a pretty severe inner ear infection that caused me to break a 12 year streak and seek medical attention from the 'guys with the good drugs'. That's right, the almighty, allopathic, AMA. One ear infection and I end up spending $800 for a blinding array of tests to have them tell me the things I diagnosed for myself were, in fact, the case. Oh, and here, take some pills. Never mind that the things we "just caught in the nick of time" are things I've known about and have been treating for years. Oh, and here, take some pills. Never mind that ALL I wanted to do was get some antibiotics for my ear. Oh, and here, take some pills.

The AMA was formed to combat hucksterism and the patented medicine industry. If you're drawing a blank here, think of Sweeney Todd and the Pirelli's Miracle Elixir scene. Oh, and here, take some pills. In this case, Todd would be the humble and well-intentioned AMA, and Pirelli would be the shameless huckster portrayed in the movie. Thing is, the AMA did eventually move on to the atrocities displayed in the movie by Todd: literally cutting the throats of it's competition (in some cases) to attain dominance over american medicine. Oh, and here, take some pills.

Now, I walk out of the clinic with 6 bottles of pills, multiple punctures, referrals for two specialists, and a pear tree up my partridge. These last few days have incited more stress in me than the last 10 years of running my own business. Oh, and here, take some pills. Never mind that I found some startling similarities between my 'treatment' there and typical cult indoctrinations: 15 hour fast, separation from home, change of name, group-specific terminology, and let's not forget the drugs. Oh, and here, take some pills.

And now, having googled all the various pills they gave me, I find that one of them counteracts another, two cause symptoms that counteract each other, the one pill I feared most turns out to be the most innocuous of the bunch and the ones they put me on first are the most likely to kill me. Yaaay... Oh, and here, take some pills.

Tis the Season

I think I just spoke to my father for the last time.

Years from now, I'll look back at this as a present, the likes of which I may never get again, but right now it feels like a dark pall on my Xmas day. Lemme 'splain.

First, my father has been sick. Really sick. He's over 90, so this is hardly a shock. He smoked for 40 years, worked in a factory and generally lead a sinful, meat-eating, stripper watching life. But my mother died a couple months back and apparently, that's all that was holding him together.

Though we don't talk about it much, most of the members of both my bloodlines have selected the time of their deaths. My mother's mother left a little note the night she died. My mother called and talked to everyone before she kicked. My father's father was particularly cruel by telling the boys to stand against the wall in punishment until he came back down stairs, then laid down to die. The examples go on and on.

Before my nana died, we had a Very intense talk amidst a sea of aberrant behavior for her. She hadn't been lucid for days but managed to speak her peace to me before drifting off again. Most folks made the same remark.

Well, I just had about the same conversation with my dad. He's cleaning out, speaking his peace, and looking for solace in his last days. Even if I talk to him again, I doubt I'll get my dad, but rather a rapidly deteriorating shell.

Merry Xmas to me.

*sigh*

What's Microsoft really saying?

Okay, so, this image to the left is from the amusingly wonderful folks at Photoshop Disasters. It shows two Microsoft ads, One for the US, and the other for Poland. MS is doing backflips to explain why the black man's head is [badly] replaced with a white man. Notice the hands aren't different.

But here's where it gets really good. What ELSE is this image telling us? First take a good long look at the monitor in front of the woman. It's not plugged into anything. Also, notice the white laptop in front of the edited man.... It's a Mac Book Pro with the apple logo carefully removed. So, apparently, the IT tools YOU need are to unplug your MS machine and get a Mac. :)

Oh, and if you happen to be black and heading to Poland, wear a white mask. ;P

An open letter to Coors

Thank you so much for providing your "Cold Activated Can". Long have I hoped that nature could have provided me with some sort of sensory mechanism, say, on my hand, that was just as capable of responding to temperature as my mouth. But, bereft of a naturally calibrated system like that, we have to resort to vision and your new packaging.

I know what a monumental task it must have been to develop this bleeding edge technology in this economy. Thermographic imaging has come a LONG way since the recent invention of candles and lemon juice. Even the little known technology of "mood rings" could not have advanced the industry as much as YOUR product. Clearly a Nobel prize is in your future.

Thank you so much for spending your company's profits on this immensely helpful technology. Thank you for not spending those profits in a temporary price reduction, pay increases for your workers, or re-opening plants to put more people to work in these trying times. Thank you for pushing millions of dollars into the advertising industry instead. The 3-4 people in your commercials clearly needed the money more than the people who faithfully made and consumed the one American beer that can be sometimes successfully argued not to be cold urine.

Now, I will take my leave. You see, a few of my buddies have taken our cues from your workers in the deep south. We'll be donning white (and black) apparel, covering our heads with white (facepaint) and marching on the local McDonalds. Imagine their faces when they see 100 Mimes burning a Fleur-De-Lis on their front lawn. Nothing says "stop it" like the burning symbol of France!