Last year, we discovered that the Pyro, no matter how unsafe, was a more important part of "The Burn" than the fire performers. I called out Crimson in an open letter, but the response did not answer the core questions. We had no communication until this month.
So finally, I sent her a letter at the end of last year:
"So, it's looking like enough previous members are gonna be returning to make LAFC happen for 2009.
The question on my mind is: did I piss you off too much? You've never gone silent on me and I don't know if I should hand off the torch to someone else to give the lafc a fair shot at the great circle."
Not exactly groveling, not snarky or mean. Just a straight question. But, certainly an open door. I think, subconsciously, I wanted her to step through. She did.
She came back stating that the list was shut down, LAFC would not return, and that I could not function as a Shin, co-shin or helsman. She listed two reasons why, neither of which I believe.
"You continue to complain year after year after year and one of those complaints is about having to create choreography."
For the record, LAFC voluntarily started group choreography long before it was a requirement. This is one of the reasons she came to us in 2004 to build her fiasco "the Pulse". I've never had a problem building group choreography. I HAVE had a problem with the inequity about choreographic judging and the level of work different groups are expected to do. In 2006 both Amber and I were read the riot act about our choreographies looking too similar to the previous years (for different reasons. That was the second year in a row that LAFC had combat choreography). While, that year, other groups literally did the same, exact choreography.
No, I don't have a problem doing choreography, I have a problem being expected to produce while others phone it in.
"Your leadership is being questioned by members of the community and former members of LAFC will not be returning if your are in any kind of a leadership role."
This is EXACTLY why there are more than four groups in conclave. Back in 2000, crimson called 4 people to help her run the conclave. I was one. But after that year, most of the SFFC would not return if Crimson was at the helm. So she opened it up to any group. And yes, Mutaytor split off LAFC immediately, and in progressive years Phoenix split off from them, Pois in the hood split off from LA, Garnish split off early, And the more geographically convenient groups, San Diego and Santa Barbera pealed off too. People have had MANY options for spinning in LA, One person is not an excuse not to spin.
So. You can see why I don't believe her answer. But it's not like she could say "I didn't like that you called me out on the pyro thing last year". Nor could she say, "I'd rather have people that kiss my ass, and you're more trouble than you're worth." Whatever. I think it's politics, or fate, or whatever. It really doesn't matter to me. And here's why.
Back around 2002, I was known as "the safety Nazi." And when we started NAFAA, some people joined just to make sure we didn't "regulate them out of a job". It was a weird time, but I learned a lesson in duplicity. I had to leave my fire troupe because of a member who was a chronic drinker. And I don't mean a regular social drinker, I mean I didn't feel safe until she had a couple of drinks in her. Those people who joined to keep an eye on things started remarking about how I was performing with someone who broke the very first rule of the NAFAA guides. I couldn't live with the hypocrisy, so I left the troupe to keep NAFFAA clean.
About 2 years ago, we started Red Swan. And though it's not delineated in the mission statement, it was our goal to elevate fire performance into a respected art form. To place people in corporate events that have been previously inaccessible. And we wanted to get performers out of gigs where they are disrespected, underpaid, or mistreated. But again, I run into the duplicity.
Burning man expects people to pay to be in conclave, yes, they get a great party, but they're formally expected to work for months on their choreography, provide video proof of their work, compete for the position AFTER putting in all the work, show up days early to check in, show up 2 hours early for the gig, no dressing room, no bathroom, bad communication, bad organization. Frequently, their well-planned choreography gets cut significantly by upwards of 15 minutes. THEN, they have to protect themselves as 40,000+ people turn into a frenzied mob, often trampling equipment or performers. You can't really say they get the same party as everyone else, because they're expected to be sober for the performance.
Yeah. Now, frost that cake with the fact that I've gone a little deeper into debt each year I've gone to the Burn, while my business(es) suffer from my absence. You can see that I have plenty of reasons not to go. I'll miss my friends, but I dare say I won't miss putting up with Crimson's shit any more.
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