Ebony and Irony

Ebony and Irony live together in pure dis-harmony
Side by side in the Senate main floor, oh lord, why dont we?

Neo's know: that people aren't the same where ever they go.
There is good and bad ...in other folks,
But nothing wrong, with any song
they choose to sing, until they get nailed ... and then they get jailed.

Ebony and Irony live together in pure dis-harmony
Side by side in the Congress main floor, oh lord, why dont we?

Ebony, Irony living in perfect harmony
Ebony, Irony, nooooo

Dems all know that people are the same where ever they go
There is good and bad in evryone,
They've learned to hide, they've learned to slide
Each other the slack need to survive 'till Gingrich arrives.

Ebony and Irony live together in pure dis-harmony
Side by side in the chambers Supreme, oh lord, why dont we?

Ebony, Irony living in political harmony (repeat and fade)

Eco Gym

I am releasing this idea to the world. For I am lazy and unwilling to see it through to it's end. So use it if you wish and think good thoughts of me if you do.

Since the Yuppies still insist on climbing fake stairs, walking treadmills, and riding fake bikes, all instead of just doing the real thing, I suggest we put them to work. Instead of pugging this equipment in to give them digital readouts, why not plug generators in and let them provide power? Heck, at least enough power could be generated to run the bloody machine. A few bikes in a spin class could power a pretty nice sound system. A whole gym that runs on the power of the people pushing generators instead of friction wheels would be a beautiful thing.

So, come on Bowflex, Weider, Nautilus, and Golds, let's see some training devices that are also power devices. Then, people can not only get buff and built, but they can get green as well....

Go Hulk!

MILK COUNCIL SCANDAL!

Shocking pictures released indicate that the cows chosen for the California Milk and Cheese ads have been regularly subjected to casting couch auditions. These "casting cows" rarely ever even see a camera, let alone make it on screen. But they are subjected to the lowest form of humiliation nevertheless.

"These charges are patently ridiculous", claims David Bilkson, chief treasury director of the Milk Council. "Anyone could have taken those photos. You can't even see faces, I mean, how do we know they even auditioned?"

The state prosecutor, Dirk Benson, vows to unveil the entire scandal and bring the entire ring to justice. "Thank God this came out after people got their Milk for Santa," he ruefully admits.

DJ Grumpy Bear

I learned a lot tonight.

1) you CAN pull together a choreographed piece in two days.
2) NEVER listen to a promoter who says he "just wants xmas music"
3) NEVER listen to 'the drunk girl' when she says a music change is in order.
4) never let her friend select the music.
5) never trust strangers with your sound system.
6) A second change in music type is NOT the answer.
7) Never judge a celebrity by the cover.
8) even female body builders/ wrestlers can be effeminate, fragile, or out of their element. (Yeah, I met Chyna tonight)
9) it's never THAT bad, even when half the floor clears (from the drunk chick's music)

So, for my first, paid DJ gig, it could have been worse. I should have stuck to my guns and told the drunk chick to piss off, but after being told to switch from xmas music to "anything" else, I was caught off guard. Psytrance was keeping the party going and was neutral enough to allow people to chat and carouse. Once I got rid of "that retro shit" and played Gloria Estefan, it completely killed my vibe. Plus, after a song or two the drunk chick was back bugging me to play "something danceable". I think it would have been a much better party if I had pushed her in the pool.