Best... Birthday... Ever!

Granted, there's not a whole lot of competition in this field. And most of the high points are fairly recent: cakes at Burn Club, etc. But I've had some serious low points.
10th - Parents tried to surprise me. I nearly get attacked by a pet Crow, then get sick during the surprise party.
18th - in the army. Letter arrives from the girlfriend with a note to "sarge" on the back. 100s of pushups that day. Then, we went through gas mask training and spend the afternoon in the gas chamber
22nd - finalize my divorce
You get the idea.
It took about 10 years of messy divorce nonsense for me to get ready to get serious again, but by then I'd kinda lost the knack. So, I started a habit of taking out the most beautiful, desirable and available woman I knew for my birthday. That way, I at least get in one date a year.

But this year, THIS year, a hot, blonde, ex-model, current stage performer asked ME out. So what if she's engaged. It was awesome. Plus, I have a new favorite restaurant. It's called Le petit Greek, in this cute little cluster on Larchmont. It's a little pricey, but sooo worth it. And no harm being seen with a cutie like Starburst. :)

Anyway, it was fun getting out of the house, and out of the scene, acting like a normal person and not dealing with fire for a few hours.

On Death and Choices

I want to thank everyone for their kind words regarding my mother's recent death. As i said to many of you, it was sudden but not unexpected.

My family seems to have a slightly different view on death than most. We do not fear it. We feel it's a choice. The only time we see it as a tragedy is when there is no choice. Like the victims of Hiroshima, the ones at point blank range had no choice in the matter, their bodies were dissembled at the atomic level.

Short of that, though, pretty much anything you've ever heard of happening to someone and killing them has been survived by someone else. Be it shot, run over by a car, electrocuted, frozen, fried, drowned or by disease, someone somewhere has survived it. As it happens, *I* have survived all of those. Guess I only have two lives left... :o)

Any way, consider James Brady. He was Reagan's body guard that got half his head shot off. People have survived jumping out of a plane, walking through lava, eaten by sharks, etc. Really, Seriously, almost anything at all has been survived by someone.

We believe that every time you go through trauma, any trauma, you get a choice. Sometimes you recognize it, sometimes you don't. When I was electrocuted as a child, I was thrown 30 feet by the juice and was down for about 5 minutes. Then, suddenly, I restarted. No choice, no tunnels, no angels, just a moment of black and I was shaking uncontrollably on the ground.

The first time I knew about the choice, I was in my teens. My "arthritis" was so bad that I was walking with a cane. I was told I'd be in a wheelchair by 18. I bent down to pick something up and my joints popped (think of the size difference between you hand knuckles and your knees... it was LOUD). A friend asked if that hurt and the choice hit me. On the one hand, I could go for the sympathy, say "yeah, it hurts" and get them to help me up. But that way lead to the chair. On the other hand, I could dig deep inside, figure out the truth and let sympathy be damned. I did, and answered 'no, it feels kinda cool actually". And my life started to turn around.

Since then, I've had one or two more choice moments, and of course, I started recognizing the choices when deep trauma stopped my heart and breathing. I know every day I spend on this planet is because I've chosen to be here.

Same for my mother. She's had a pacemaker made by Microsoft for years. At this point, she's about 20-30% artificial parts: heart valves, hips, leg bones, eyebrows, etc. Bits and pieces she was less and less .... her. It bugged her. She hated being a burden. And most importantly, she wanted to go out like her mother did.

My grandmother made the choice to go and gave herself two weeks to say goodbye. One day, I was taking her to the phone company and watching her one-arm a counter rep in an argument about her bill. A week later I get a call that she's in the hospital and going fast. Everyone got the same speech: "she's not very lucid, don't be surprised if she doesn't recognize you." Well, she recognized me... from across the room and through the door. We shared a few moments that were too personal to blog and then, Poof, she was out like a light; completely unfocused and non lucid. Two days later, she wrote a little note saying, "thank you for the wonderful service" and went to sleep for the last time.

I know my mother fussed around for almost a year getting things straight. Made sure everyone was all good. Then tried to go out with the same grace as Her mother. I guess she was hanging on to hold that red-headed grandchild or something. Whatever it was, she decided she'd had enough. I've never known her mind well enough to even begin to guess her motives. But I do know that she chose to go.

Watch for those choices. They happen to everyone. I have a friend who recovered from Lupus because she caught a choice and was ready for it. And the next time you run into something you fear, stop and think. Is this fear based in the fear of Death? Knowing that you have a choice over the moment of your death can unravel all your other fears.

Matriarch RIP

My mother died last night in her sleep. She was 86 years old (oh, the irony of that), birthed 7 children and held over a dozen grand children. She is survived by all her children and her husband of nearly 70 years. Her mother was the undisputed matriarch of our family, and upon her death, she tried to maintain order by stepping into that role. But like so many nuclear families these days, her progeny cast themselves to the 4 winds .... uprooted and unlinked from their past. Like her mother, her two daughters stayed close by and kept watch on her. And like her mother she fought death to the end, but eventually gave in with grace, in her sleep.

It is her wish to be cremated, and I might have to perform the cremation.. ;o)

If you read this, eat a warm, chocolate chip cookie and call someone you love.

Lets get Excited!!!

I have my reasons. They're solid. You know I was a Clinton supporter. This crap about switching to McCain is unwarranted and unfounded. Here's to VP Clinton, and a nice enthusiastic presidential race.

My perfect car Stereo

Fifty watts per channel, an auxiliary jack, and a volume knob. That's all I want. No AM, FM, Cassette, or CD. I don't need "iPod Compatibility" or a "satellite ready' unit. I just want to plug in my damn iPod and play music crisp and loud. Is that so wrong?

Why do I have to get bells and flashing lights, and removable faceplates, and cd changers, and gawd knows what else just to get a damn auxiliary jack? And when I do find something minimal (am, fm, cassette, aux), it only has 2 watts per channel.

Why can't I get power and simplicity? Fine... AM, FM Aux, and two channels of at least 40 watts per. That's my final offer...

Anyone know where I could get something like this?

Phones, Phones on the range....

Okay, so as of today, California has a "no handset' policy while driving. Mind you, you can still TEXT while driving, but you can't use the handset for talking. ARRGH! Oh well, it's a start.

But I have other phone stuff for you. If you have the right kind of home phone, you can turn it into a speakerphone on the cheap. Here's how. First, you need a cheapie cordless phone from, say, Radio shack. The crucial component is that the handset needs to have a headset jack. Your basic cell-phones could work this way too. Next, you need one of these:
http://shop.crackberry.com/seidio-audio-adaptor-wbuilt-in-mic-and-answer-button/12A45A1557A.htm
It's a headset jack adaptor designed to allow you to use real headphones instead of the crappy headset phones that come with the mic. So, you plug this in, but instead of adding headphones, you add a small speaker setup like anything designed for the ipod. I used one of these:
http://www.shopping.com/xPO-JVC-CD-Case-with-Built-in-Speakers
Total price, not including the basic phone, about $30 with tax and shipping. Compare that to a bottom of the line speaker phone, that starts at $100, and you got yourself a deal.

and finally, the coolest phone ever is about to become about 1000 times cooler (assuming you don't get into "Jail breaking") The iphone (and iPod Touch) are about to get downloadable apps. Soon I hope. They promised that the App Store would be open for business "late June" in a speech at the beginning of the year. But it seams that we may have to wait until the new iPhone 3G gets released on the 11th for this to become a reality. *sigh* I hate waiting.